My name is Nedjm Eddin, Im 19 years old, I live in smal town called Boufarik,I'm sure that you have heard about it befor ;it is too famous,and traditional especially our neighborhood very calme.
I'm studying english in the ENS of Bouzareah so that's mean that I'm teacher in about 4 years from now.it was my gool from the very beginning so i'm glad i'm in there. also it's not far from where I live so I can go home after classes what a lucky I am!!!.
Actually, gettin in The ENS wasn't not my only goal I have a lot of other dreams that I'm after and with the God help they will become true.
I'm studying english in the ENS of Bouzareah so that's mean that I'm teacher in about 4 years from now.it was my gool from the very beginning so i'm glad i'm in there. also it's not far from where I live so I can go home after classes what a lucky I am!!!.
Actually, gettin in The ENS wasn't not my only goal I have a lot of other dreams that I'm after and with the God help they will become true.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletewell, nadjm eddin as a first try i can say that you are a good writter ,but there is some points i wont you to miss in your next essay .First you have some ill construct phrases that the reader can't undrestand there meaning for exemle when you said " is too famous .and traditional especially our neighborhood very calme " then you don't respect ponctuation roles like when you put point in place of comma between the first and the second sentence .you fall also in repitition when you talked about the idea of relising your dream with two diffrent way by repeting the word "my gool"
Deletethats all what i notice ,but I know that you can write better than this
i think that it is a good introduction but there is some mistakes like *is too famous .and traditional* there is no point before and*you should capitilize all the new sentences and you can add it is famous for what because some times when someone read this he forgete for what it is famous for or he don't know so you have to remember him besides; you say that getting in the ens is not your only gool you can mentionned another gool to enriche the informations you give about you,also there are some sentences whiche are not welle formed so you have to reformed them like *so i'm glad i'm in there*you can say i am in wuthout adding there*
ReplyDeletehi nedjm eddin's i think that you are a good writeur but ther is somme things that you should work on it first of all thers no coma because when you add a suporting point you most put a coma.and you only used the points wish you suppost to use them when you move from an idea to another one .second thers no transition wish they are very thematic to organize the paragraphe .also you didn't use the capital letter in the bigining of all sentences,proponoun.pronoun sush as (I).finlly,you didn't use to mush of acadimec words.any way.I think that you have all the capasity to be a good writer just cryon and i wish the best for you.
ReplyDelete