I'm sorry

Do You Remember?

        Do You Remember? 

                  Hey you !!    do you remember when you told me your dream? What do you want to be ? Or you lost hope in this world . Where you are going to leave your dream, do you remember when you told me that it is your destiny, that you want to fly, high up in the sky?   Do you remember when you told me that oneday you will find what you are looking for? Do you remember when you told that this is not just a dream or imagination? Do you? It has been long time? I know, But did you at least  try to flap your wings?Or you just broke down. Hey you!! it has been long time I know, but you think I have forgotten, No!! I didn't even for a single moment. Do you remember when I told you what I was afraid of ? alas!! that's exactly what happend and the fire that  I was afraid of completly charred my heart and it wasn't your fault because I knew from the very beginning that this would happen. Hey you!! do you know that dispit that good_bye my door was alwayse open for you,  you just needed to step in. However, you didn't ,  you hid in the corner, hey!! do you know that from your absense my heart grew fonder  every moment you were far fom me even the moon lost his brightness in my eyes from waiting, do you know why it took me this long?Simply to profe to you and my self that what I told you is true and not madness, to realise how deep I drowned, to think of the reason that I've got there to let the life tell you and I. that what I told you will never be over. Why I'm writing this ? Maybe to tell you that I want you right now, to tell you that I want you around fore every single day. Maybe because of the look in your face that is saying that you are sorry. Hey!! tell me if that's true or is just my impression, and if you want me to be sorry from what I have done. You know I wouldn't do that if you didn't mean anything fore me. I know that I have exaggerated, who am I fore you to do that? I want you to know that I'm sorry because we could made a story of a beautiful life just me and you, to tell you that from what I heard I've lost a part of me, and  it is obvious isn't it you know why? because it realy hurts, in a way I don't wish it fore anyone to experience that pain. Hey do you remember the last message and the last words you heard from me? if only you said "YES "you wouldn't belive what I have prepared for you. It's ok it meant to be this way. So only if you want me too I'm here fore you. Only if.......

It Doesn't Matter

I missed seeing in the morning

I missed you saying good morning

I missed loving you more and more every morning

I don't want to be without it

You want my love and I know it

It's witten in your face don't hide it

If you're looking you can find it.

But no matter how bad I want it

From me stay close, If you really want it

And now you got me acting like I didn't know you

But I can only tell you what I want to show you

Now I'm sitting lonely in this empty house

without you, all I got is these memories

If I can only see your face I will apologize

But I heard you'r with someone that treats you better

But why I still dreaming about me and you together 
                                                                                                                       
I even thought that you are going to be with me forever

But how did I get here I don't even remember

Why I'm saying this when it doesn't even matter

Because I'm so sick and tired of staying alone

I tell you just to pray for me and move on

You made me live a dream and now you'r gone

    Why is this happening  my moon 

 I just want my heart back so I can go on 

mybe I can be with you in another life 

What you mean to me no one can have

 So why is this keep happening to me my love

because all I want to you to be is my wife    

Gothic

Bless or Curse

Bless or Curse

              Pretty and mysterious, calme and puzzled, lovely but hard to understand, clear but I cannot read it, it seems too close, but it is hard to reach, it is the moon that appears in the middle of the day, it is the light that burned my darkness, it is the doctor that the patient needs, a grace, a bless, it smels like heaven, a melody that made me addicted, addicted and I cannot get enough from it, an angle that I could not see till now, and me! I love it, I 'm telling that without a doubt,  yes I do, and I always tried to show the opposite, always to ignore it, and get closer from the enemy, but why? maybe because I'm afraid, but from what, from the hurt! from from the fire that is eating me from the inside, I love it and with it my minde is dead and I dont know what kind of things I say, yes! it exist, I know that but a voise inside me is telling me "not for you ", what to do ?? I'm confused!!  at first sight I thought that it is my chance to recover, to born again with it, but this is not what I have planned it is out of my control, so what to do?? So many things is being unsaid I have tried to complain but it made me seen as a fool, is it realy made for me, or I'm delusion, lying to my self that's what I have been, enough, enough, but wait I 'm not the only one who want it, so what to do?? it feels like a curse like a prison but I want it for me, I don not want to share it, but what if I can't live without it, what kind of sorcery is that? maybe it is something in it moves, I 'm tumbling down, what to do? but why not any thing else?  just it just it maybe simly because it is the piece that it is missing in my heart, and all I want to do is proofing that I deserve it, but it 's like the wrong that feels right, how to figure out that,  I wish it was not this way, I don't  want  trade my life for this, or to holding on to what I haven't got, I need to start over even I know that "the hardest part of ending is starting again" so it 's over, the filme ends here, I wish I had strength to stand, I need just to know that it will never be the one who is going to find themselves alone, no!! it will never be the one to bear the scars that it cause, but only if it wants too, then I will do any thing to please it, only if that can happen, only if.

                                                                   By nedjmo

I'm a Diver

I'm a Diver

               I  had the chance once to dive to crose the ocean to see it wonders  to see the beautiful colors mixed together to make  a wonderful views. The view of the searoks coverd by the nearly magic seaweeds that ends by the shining send,  it took it shine from the the sun ray reflaction.That was a special moments. I was moving very smoothly with the current, and the bubbles were coming out of me like they were jellyfishes, climbing up to the surface, I had seen a lot till I became very exhausted, and I didn't want to come out, so I had this brilliant idea it is to take the rest insid the sea so I laid on my back, and closed my eyes. In the same time I start meditate, I think I didn't understand in the beginnig but I think I do now, I think I have realised how small I'm comparing this world,  suddenly I heard a weird  sound I was terrify,  I looked to the right and the left but there was nothing  was there, oh!!  it's my oxygen tank, it's almost end "My God !!" I felt frustrate, but dispit that feeling, I had some kind of happiness behind it because  that what made that moment so spicial,  just thinking that there is a lot more to see made me happy. I pushed with my flipper the water to came out, I almost get out, I can see the sun ray on the surface, then suddenly, I couldn't move  every thing around me start melting  untill every thing disappeared and me I was standing in the dark, I am in  my divig suit "Am I dead"  thoughts were spinning in my head, after a moment I woke up "I am in my bed!! bu but what happend to all what I have seen? all what I  have felt ? just a dream"  I couldn't accept it first, but now I guess that because of it  I have  realised the gift from our God that it maybe the last one we would thank him for it is the power of imagination it can take you to other worlds whil you are in your place .                                                    

Home !!!!

                                                                 Home !!!!

                                        

                    what is home? what does it represent ? I have been asking this  question for a while  and I asked it to a lot of people ,almost  all of them said  the same thing, "Is where I feel comfortable, surrounded by family to"even the dictionory toke it too     simply and difine it "The place where you live" I notice that every answer started with "where"  Is it related to a place? I thought that it is more spiritual than just a place. For me I haven't  realy found a palace that I can call it home yet, I'm moving but I just cant find my way, I'm surrounded by a millon routes  but which one of them can lead me home? To be honest, once I thought that I found it, once I thought that I finally opened this mystery, indeed it was gorgeous from the outside, but when I came in no one was there,  no body was home, and there where I laid down broken inside, but I stuck  with hope and I waited there for someone to come. The time passed but nothing happend, then suddenly, the house start cracking untill it break down and scatter over me and become only a small pieces. Where to go now, this can't be happening to me, I was lost falling behind and no one could see me. Where do I belong ? "Soon it will be over, a new one can make it up for you" they  kept telling me that . Alas!! I dont think so , because it was the only time I thought that I have a real thing .For me, Home is certainly the arms of the beloved .